By the time I was diagnosed with Depression, I guess you could say the realm of this hopeless disease had already taken an uncontrollable grip on my life. Being such a young minded soul, what intelligence should I of had to of known that I was undergoing a psychological warfare? You grow up and go throughout elementary to highschool in and out of health classes, and all they teach you is about physical harm; broken bones, head injuries, STD's, sports injuries, basic health problems....But now that I look back at it, where was all the information about psychological and mental health? Where were the lessons on Depression and Anxiety? Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disease? Dementia and Personality Disorder? I dont recall going through school and one-time being educated on the severity of Depression. We are all brainwashed into learning about causing OTHERS physical harm. But that cant be all we know, because if you want to take the little picture and blow it up, you start to realize that you can be your biggest enemy. Your mind. Your body. YOU. As soon as John Doe goes out and murders someone, every news station in the local area wants the coverage, but when little Jack hangs himself, or Susie Q has a last meal of a nice .45 caliber bullet through the mouth, NOBODY wants to hear it, so its never projected into society because as a society, we avoid these type of things. Its disgusting. And you might venture out and be eager to know why Im disgusted, and I will straight up tell you. I learned everything on my own before anyone had said a damn word. Thank god for bittersweet google. All you have to do is type out a couple symptoms and BAM. Pages and pages of material that I was desperately seeking. Its one thing to be diagnosed with depression and accept it, but its a whole different story when you have to teach yourself and learn about this disease on your own. Its scary as shit. Yes, theres alot of knowledgable information, but theres also input from different people and different perspectives, and some of them are dark. And i mean DARK. For instance, I remember one of the first stories I read from a third person view. It was about a recently divorced widow. The topic was about dealing with your depression. This was years and years back so I cant vividly word what all was said, but one thing was said that just bitch slapped me and basically woke me up. I knew this disease was bad, but lord have mercy I had no idea just how severe things could get back then. I remember reading from her excerpt this exact quote that I'm referring too: *WARNING, THIS QUOTE IS GRAPHIC* (''I've hit rock bottom and theres no light at the end of this terrible tunnel. I just cant handle it anymore, last night I tried to end it all and slit my wrists, I was going to hang myself afterwards but never got to it because I passed out due to the blood loss out of my wrists"). Wow. Im just having the blues and you mean to tell me..... that you sat in your room, slit your own wrists, and tried to hang yourself, but failed because you passed out? 9 years later I can honestly say I fully understand what she was going through. Maybe not fully in the sense that I knew the pain from her exact experienced scenarios, but I understand the darkness she was at, when your mind turns on you and tells you death is the only way out.